My Soul Is A City Of Crime

My soul is a city of crime
As I hold my gat gangsta-wise
That's holding your gun by the side
As I blast away my friends and family
Changed from joviant Jekylls to haunting Hydes

Wash bloody hands in rusty waters
I blast away strangers, presidents, daughters
I am become beast, an animal of slaughter
Everything about me is changing
My life before the streets, it doesn't even matter

But I ain't gonna be some low income sucker
That blood lust comes my way, I run and duck'er
This isn't a place for innocence, no, no
BANG BANG BANG, it's Resident Evil 5 motha fucka!

My Father, Part I

I am half the man
My father is
No, I am not a weakling
I am just
Chromosomally speaking

My Father, Part II

I am also half the man
My mother would have been

Summer Rain

Pitter patter goes the rain
Onto my roof shingles
Drippy drop through the cracks
Splish sploshing down the walls
Plippity plot onto my floor
Aaaaand there goes my insurance money

So Far Away

I sit in my sweaty hotel room
Watching episodes of the "Honeymooners"
Maybe it is because it is from another generation
That is why I do not understand the jokes
Or maybe because it is in Thai
And I do not understand the language

Under The Old Oak Tree

On a sweltering day
An old man told me
A phrase
Underneath the old oak tree
"To make an omelette, you
Must break a few of eggs"
"Depends on the size of the egg"
I said
And gave him some change

A Day At The Beach

On a warm summer day
As families stroll by
With pinstripe umbrellas
And sunscreen
Do you ever wonder
If the sandpipers
And the crabs
See it as a sunny day?
A warm day?
A lovely day?
Or just another day
No, you don't wonder
Because I'm more considerate than you are

My Parents

My parents
My parents gave birth to me
Wait, hold on, what was that?
Only my mom?
Oh, how embarrassing
Yes, it makes sense now
I'm so sorry about that
Correction
My mom
My mom gave birth to me

The Evil Inside Me

The evil inside me
It howls in the night
And scratches at the walls
It makes the paint peel
It thickens the blood
It screams like a banshee
It screams "I liked Spiderman 3!"
Cause I did
I didn't think it was that bad
It was a good character study
The evil inside me

A Man

What makes a man?
A penis, perhaps?
Man sized hands?

The Grapes

Ah the fermented grapes
The sweet and tart wafting smell
Crimson river like liquid blood drapes
From Dionysus' cup fell

It clings to the carpet like habit
Aphrodite's lustful dress
With a moist towel I dab at it
And that's how you clean up the mess!

Or you can use baking soda
Or pour salt onto the stain
I saw it on last week's Operah
Just don't spill my wine again
Asshole